Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 19:48:31 GMT
Hi folks, As you all know, Howard Stern is moving to Sirius. He hand-picked a special place in the Sirius building for his new studio. Guess where it is? Right next to the "Gay Channel's" studio. Howard did this deliberately so that gays and lesbians can visit both studios in one day. He's gonna have a ball there. He played a tape of the Gay Channel's show a few weeks ago. A gay guy called the male DJ (who is also gay). He said to him, "When was the last time you had a hairy ass?" Then he said that he had a "big penis". The DJ was getting all excited. It was hilarious. I can't imagine what is gonna happen when Howard goes to Sirius and is right next to the "gay" studio. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 19:53:57 GMT
Hi folks,
A few weeks ago, Howard did something great. A girl (porno star) was on his show. They stuck a raw egg up her ass. Then she went into the "Howard Stern Spanking Machine". Then they all placed bets on how many spanks it would take to break the egg. I think it took 2 or 3 spanks.
When the egg broke, it went up her ass and into her colon. Apparently, the egg must have been cold/refrigerated. She started jumping all around and yelling like she had ants in her pants. She kept trying to force/shit out the egg. It was hilarious. I was laughing my ass off.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 19:57:30 GMT
Hi folks, I love Howard's "Whack Pack". One day, they did a spoof of "We are the World". They were singing : "We are the whack pack we are retarded..." It was so funny. The "pack" included Wendy the retard, Jeff the drunk, Beetlejuice, etc. It was fantastic. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 20:06:12 GMT
Hi folks,
I was listening to Howard a few weeks ago. He had an explanation for how Luther Vandross died. Oprah Winfrey sat on his face and kept farting.
He played this skit where Oprah sits on Luther's face. She would blast out a fart, and Luther would gasp for air and choke. Howard kept doing this repeatedly over and over again. Finally, Oprah rips out this tremendous fart on Luther's face. He takes one last gasp of air and dies. You hear his medical machine flat-line.
It was so funny. I was laughing so hard that I almost peed myself.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 20:09:39 GMT
Hi folks, I was listening to Howard a few weeks ago. They were talking about little league baseball. Howard jokingly said that he played LL ball as a kid. He said that the other kids beat him up and forced him to wear a minidress. Everyone on his staff was laughing. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 20:13:42 GMT
Hi folks, Howard had an interesting idea on what to do with the al-Qaida suspects being held in Cuba. We should put them to sleep with anasthesia. While they are sleeping, we should give them "boob jobs". When they wake up, they won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror because strict Islamic men are not allowed to look at naked women. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 20:20:22 GMT
Hi folks,
I was listening to Howard a few weeks ago. He made an important announcement.
Howard was fired from the E! Channel a few months ago despite the fact that he had the highest rated show. They were worried about government censorship.
Howard has a deal with Comcast on-demand cable TV now.
So, he simply moved to a new home.
By the way, Howard was "f**king away" when he made this announcement. I never heard him say "f**k" so many times before. He must have said "f**k you" about 100 times within a span of 5-10 minutes. It was directed at the religious right.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:09:41 GMT
Hi folks, I was listening to Howard a few months ago. A female prono star was on his show. One of Howard's staff members (I think it was Rich) was playing Rush's song "Tom Sawyer" on the girl's ass. He was using the cheeks of the girl's ass as a drum kit. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:16:44 GMT
Hi folks,
Several years ago, I was watching Howard's show on TV. He had an explanation for what caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. He blamed it on his staff member Gary ("Baba-booie"). Howard did this animated cartoon. Gary is a caveman 65 million years ago. He rips out a tremendous fart. The fumes kill all of the dinosaurs and cause their extinction. You see all of the dinosaurs falling over and dying.
That was one of the best "bits" I ever saw on TV. My whole family was laughing their asses off.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:22:11 GMT
Hi folks,
A few weeks ago, Howard was talking all about masturbation for almost 2 hours. Then he played tapes from "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood", the children's TV show. Apparently, Mr. Rogers was trying to teach children what to do with their hands.
In the tape, Mr. Rogers says, "We use our hands to play with things." Then, he says, "We use our hands to clean up after ourselves after we are done playing with things." Howard played this tape just as he was talking all about masturbation. It was SO funny. I never heard someone talk about masturbation so much. I was laughing my ass off.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:26:16 GMT
Hi folks, A few weeks ago, Howard had his parents on the show. His mother is 76 years old. His father is 82 years old. They still have sex. They weren't kidding. They were serious. His mother is a "prude", believe it or not. She has never given a blow job in her life. She would never have kinky sex. Howard is giving his parents a show on Sirius. That should be hilarious. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:33:01 GMT
Hi folks, A few days ago, Howard was talking about this famous guy. In his will, he stipulated that he wanted to be cremated, and he wanted his ashes to be shot out of a cannon. They did precisely this. Howard said, "Wouldn't it be funny if something went wrong with the cremation process, and he wasn't fully cremated, and the guy's head shot out of the cannon?" It was pretty sick, but it was funny too. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 6, 2005 21:38:43 GMT
Hi folks,
Last week, David Letterman was on Howard's show. I never knew David was so "dirty" (his jokes). He was bad.
He said that he made a burp, and it tasted like a boy scout.
He said, "What's the difference between Pam Anderson and a mosquito? After you slap it a couple of times, a mosquito stops sucking."
Then David and Howard called a "gay bath house". This gay guy answers the phone. They were teasing him to no end. But the guy loved it. He was laughing too. It was hilarious.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 27, 2005 18:55:51 GMT
Hi folks, I was watching Howard on TV a few weeks ago. A woman was "queefing". This is when a woman sucks in air thru her twat and then forces it out. It sounds just like a fart. This woman was fantastic. It sounded more like farts than real farts. This liquid was oozing out of her twat too. There was a wet stain in her underwear and her pants. Howards wanted to organize a "queefing contest". Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 27, 2005 19:00:32 GMT
Hi folks, I was listening to Howard on the radio the other day. Howard was yelling at Sal (one of his staff workers). This female porno star was waiting in the "green room". This is the room where guests wait to speak to Howard. Sal walks into the green room and starts talking to this porno star. Then Sal rips out this tremendous fart. He farted right on the girl. She got all grossed out and very pissed off. When Howard found out, he was yelling his head off at him. Augie
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