Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Sept 22, 2006 21:16:54 GMT
Hi folks,
For about 10-12 years, I was a near-bedridden invalid. I rarely got out of bed. I literally had to lay in bed and concentrate on staying conscious. I couldn't "think". If I tried to think, I would have passed out and lost consciousness (something that happened hundreds of times). I also had to contrate on breathing. As I was doing that, my heart would be all f**ked up. This didn't just happen once in a while. This was the case for every minute of every day for 10-12 years. It was relentless. There was no let up. I basically laid in bed and did nothing.
I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn't know who I was any more.
Prior to my illness, I did calculus with ease. For 10-12 years, I couldn't add 2 numbers together. If I tried to add 3+2 on a piece of paper, I couldn't do it. I'd still be sitting there 20 or 30 minutes later trying to figure it out.
I couldn't read. If I tried to read a sentence, by the time I got to the end of the sentence, I forgot the first half of the sentence. I had to keep reading the same sentence over and over again. I just read the same sentence 5 or 6 times, and I still didn't know what the hell I just read.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 17:33:27 GMT
Hi folks,
The Summer of 2001 was the first time I sat on my front porch in 11 years. It took me 11 years just to be able to walk from my bedroom the my front porch.
The Summer of 2004 was the first time I was in my backyard in 14 years. I had almost forgotten what it looked like.
For 10-12 years, I couldn't talk - because of my lightheadedness and the inflammation in my lungs. I had to communicate in hand signals or write things down.
For 10-12 years, I couldn't watch TV. If I tried to watch TV for more than 5-10 minutes, I would get excruciating headaches, and my eyes would hurt a lot. I couldn't understand what I was watching anyway. It drained a lot of energy out of me too. If I tried to watch TV for more than 10 minutes, I literally would have to lay down and rest for 1-2 hours just to recover. The fatigue that cLD causes is unbelievable.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 17:47:56 GMT
Hi folks,
Obviously, I missed a lot of TV shows - especially science-fiction shows (which I love).
I missed a lot of movies too. My favorite movies of all time are the "Star Wars" movies. To this day, I have only seen parts 4, 5, and 6. I still haven't seen parts 1, 2, and 3 yet. The "Star Trek" movies are my second-favorite movies of all time. The last one I saw was part 5. I haven't seen any since then. I also missed many other science-fiction movies.
The last time I was in a movie theater was in 1989.
I haven't been on vacation since 1988.
Rush is my favorite band. I missed a few Rush albums too. The last Rush album I bought (and listened to) was "Roll the Bones" (in 1991). I haven't bought (or listened to) any since. I also missed a few Rush tours. When I was younger, I used to love to go to Rush concerts. That as the highlight of my year. Prior to my illness, I had seen every Rush tour since "Power Windows" (in 1985/86). I saw Rush's "Roll the Bones" tour in 1991/92. I was sick as hell. That was the last Rush tour I saw because of my illness. In the Summer of 2004, I saw Rush's "30th Anniversary Tour". That was the first time I saw them live in over 12 years.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 17:59:02 GMT
Hi folks,
One of my best friends from high school (Steve) died (of Leukemia) in circa 1994. He was about 26 years old. I was so sick that I couldn't go to the wake. I felt terrible. But what could I do? I was bedridden at that time. I couldn't even call the family because I couldn't talk. I would have passed out if I tried to talk. A few years ago (when I was finally able to talk again), I spoke to Steve's dad on the phone. I explained to him that I felt terrible that I couldn't be at Steve's wake. I think he understood my situation. Coincidentally, Steve's dad also has Lyme Disease. But he doesn't have it as bad as I do. He has mostly arthritis symptoms. He doesn't have the SEVERE neurological symptoms that I have.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 18:07:39 GMT
Hi folks,
I am a HUGE Miami Dolphins fan. I really miss Dan Marino and Don Shula. Whenever the Dolphins are televised in the NYC area, I watch them. Obviously, for many years of my illness, I couldn't watch them live. I couldn't tape them either. I couldn't understand what I was reading in the VCR instruction manual. My brother-in-law (who is a great guy, especially during my illness) taped all of the Dolphin games for me. Coincidentally, his brother is a HUGE Miami Dolphins fan too. For many years, I watched the Dolphin games (on tape) a little bit at a time. I tried not to miss any of Dan Marino's passes. For about 10-12 years, that was the only time I watched TV.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 18:28:48 GMT
Hi folks,
Some people have asked me when I'm writing my book (autobiography). My answer is simple - whenever I get time. I have a lot of things on my mind now (my illness, politics, my "issues" with the government, fixing the country, etc.). It cetainly isn't for lack of material. I have enough information in my head to fill at least 10 volumes. I have a photographic memory.
Obviously, my autobiography will contain things in my past. It will contain my torturous high school years and my college years. It will be loaded with many fart stories (all true). Obviously, my illness will figure really big in it. My plan to fix the problems in this country will also be in it. It will also contain my (mis-)adventures with women (I'm as clueless as they come).
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 18:31:13 GMT
Hi folks, If Pres. Bush puts me in prison, maybe I'll write my autobiography in prison. Maybe I'll be like Hitler. He wrote "Mein Kampf" in prison. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 18:39:27 GMT
Hi folks,
I'm basically "stuck" in 1990 (which is when I was stricken with my illness). My life is frozen there. I really haven't been able to move forward with my life since then. These types of things usually happen to people who are stricken with catastrophic illnesses for a long time. I feel like someone who has been in prison since 1990.
In some ways, I feel like the "Pinky" character in Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album (which was Roger Waters' autobiography).
I know that Howard Stern experienced this feeling for many years of his life. Although, he wasn't medically sick.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 18:45:39 GMT
Hi folks,
I have an aunt who is about 83 years old. For many years, she helped to take care of me (like when my parents went on vacation, etc.). I couldn't do 10% of what she did. She often said that I moved "like a turtle" and that she moved faster than I did. I was in my 20s, and she was in her 70s.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 19:09:03 GMT
Hi folks,
In this post, I want to describe myself in more detail.
As I have stated in my companion thread, I was a model citizen before my illness. I was a model student and a model of responsibility. I have led a more exemplary life than 99.9999% of the people on the face of this Earth. I never smoked, drank alcohol, or used illegal drugs in my life. I don't gamble.
I never enjoyed attending parties (which is something I VERY rarely did). I was never into the bar/club scene. I was 22 years old, I completed 4 years of high school, 4 years of college (away from home), and 1 year of graduate school (also away from home), and I had never even set foot in a bar/club. I didn't even know what one looked like.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 19:16:40 GMT
Hi folks,
I VERY rarely watch TV. Even when I was healthy, I rarely watched TV. I was never a "TV person". I watch about 4-6 hours of TV a month. On the rare occasions I watch TV, I watch the Science-fiction channel, Discovery channel, History channel, and Science channel. The only show I watch regularly is "Battlestar Galactica".
My favorite TV show is "Battlestar Galactica" (both the 1970s version and the new version). "Star Trek" comes in a close second. I also like "Stargate: SG-1", "Satrgate: Atlantis", and "The Twilight Zone".
As I mentioned above, my favorite movies are the "Star Wars" movies and the "Star Trek" movies.
My favorite terrestrial radio station is 105.5 WDHA-FM. Back in the 1980s, I liked 102.7 WNEW-FM. My favorite terrestrial DJs are/were: Matt Murray (NJ), Carol Miller (NY), and Peter Worby (in Detroit). But I don't listen to terrestrial radio anymore. I got Sirius because of Howard Stern. I love Sirius 19 ("Buzzsaw"), Sirius 15 ("Classic Rewind"), and Sirius 23 ("Hair Nation"). Sirius's DJs are all great.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 20:03:31 GMT
Hi folks,
I LOVE Howard Stern. I have been listening to him almost every single day (at least, when I was physically capable of doing so) since 1984. During my illness, there were long periods (some as long as several years) that I couldn't listen to a radio. I really missed Howard. As soon as I was physically capable of listening to a radio again, I would seek out Howard. He would always put a smile on my face. And I haven't had much to smile about in my life.
I must have spent about 10% of my life (literally!!!) just listening to Howard Stern on the radio. You have no idea how much I love that man.
I am a lot like Howard - in so many ways. We have the same brains and the same thought processes. We think alike. It's scary sometimes. I can't tell you how many times Howard would say something and then a thought or idea would pop into my head. Then, Howard would say EXACTLY what I was thinking. The EXACT same though would pop into both of our heads at the exact same instant. It's amazing. This has happened to me literally thousands of times over the years.
I will give you one prominent example of this. About 1 year or so ago, Gary ("Baba-booie") was telling a story. He took his son to see a battleship. They slept on the ship with other fathers and sons. The sleeping quarters were very tight and very cramped. They were packed in like sardines. Gary explained that there were bunk beds, and everyone was so close to each other. When he said that, an idea popped into my head. I said to myself, "Imagine if someone rips out a fart". At the exact split second that that idea popped into my head, Howard says, "Imagine if someone rips out a fart". The exact same thought popped into our heads at the exact same split second. It's amazing how many times this happens.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 20:15:34 GMT
Hi folks,
My favorite sports are NFL football (Miami Dolphins) and auto racing (NASCAR, Formula 1, etc.). Dan Marino and Don Shula are 2 of my idols.
Hockey is okay. I can take it or leave it. The same goes for soccer.
I hate basketball, tennis, golf, etc.
I don't like baseball. The last time I actually sat down and watched a baseball game was in circa 1978. I haven't watched a baseball game in almost 30 years. I think baseball players are a bunch of "cry-babies". The game is too slow and too boring. They need to speed it up and make it more exciting. By far, the biggest problem with MLB is their failure to pass a hard team salary cap (for parity reasons). To be perfectly honest with you, I have better things to do with my time than sit down and watch a baseball game being played between a team spending $200 million and a team spending $20 millioin. Guess who's going to win? Duh!!! MLB has a monopoly on professional baseball in North America. Therefore, Congress should step in and enforce anti-trust laws. That's my opinion.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 20:21:23 GMT
Hi folks,
I am an environmentalist. I belong to Greenpeace, Sierra Club, and NRDC.
I have been a member of The Planetary Society for about 25 years.
Rush has been my favorite band since 1984. I also love Pink Floyd and Boston.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Oct 11, 2006 20:35:49 GMT
Hi folks,
I am 100% Italian. I am 50% northern Italian and 50% southern Italian. My father's parents came from the Genoa area (the Liguria/Piemonte region of Italy). My mother's parents came from the Naples area (the Campania region of Italy).
My sister and I are exact opposites. She looks like a northern Italian but acts like a southern Italian. I look like a southern Italian but act like a northern Italian.
Aside from my physical appearance (and maybe some of my food preferences), I have no southern Italian traits. I am Genoese thru and thru (a fact that sometimes drives my mother crazy).
I am VERY Gothic. I love dragons, etc. I have always loved progressive rock, hard rock, and heavy metal music.
Maybe this helps to explain why I have never had a girlfriend in my life. Physically speaking, I am attracted to women of southern Italian and Sicilian descent. But as soon as I attempt to start dating such a woman, the sparks start flying. Can you say "culture clash"?
Northern Italians and southern Italians have different origins. Southern Italians (Naples, Sicily, etc.) have Greek origins. Northern Italians have gothic origins. Genoa was founded and colonized by the Ostrogoths and Lombards.
Augie
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