My Sister's Party

[Augie]

Hi folks,

I have serious and humorous subject matter to discuss here in this thread. But let me give you some background info first.

I am a third generation American of Italian descent. My family is VERY close, as is typical of Italian families. Did you ever see the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? I did (because my neice wanted to see it). Well, my family is just like that. I have "My Big Fat Italian Family". We are all into each other's business. When I was a kid and went on vacation, we used to go away in gangs of about 10 aunts and uncles and about 20-30 cousins. There is an old saying : "Third cousins with the Italians is like twin brothers with the Irish." Well, it's true.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

A few weeks ago, we had a surprise 40th birthday party for my sister. Yes, my sister is older than me. I am the baby of the family (in case you couldn't tell). We had the party out at Nino's Italian Restaurant here in Staten Island, NY.

In case you don't know, Staten Island has a VERY large Italian-American population. In fact, SI has more Italian people than anywhere else in the world (outside of Italy). Naturally, there are numerous Italian restaurants here.

I went to the party. This was one of the VERY rare occasions that I leave my parent's home. Iam basically homebound (because of my illness). There were about 40 people there. Everyone there was glas to see me out of the house (for a change).

Augie

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[Augie]

When I was at the party, I met my cousin's wife ("Kim"). This is only the second time I met her. Kim lives in NJ. She told me that she has a cousin who is just like me. He has chronic Lyme Disease for about 17 years. I have it 15 years. To her knowledge, her cousin has left his house only 2 times in 17 years. He has me beat. For about 10-12 years, I left my home only 4-5 times a year. For the past few years, I have experienced a slight improvement in my symptoms, and I leave my home about 10-20 times a year. I guess you can call that progress.

Kim's cousin has all of the same symptoms as me. He is seriously ill and seriously disabled like me. He has all of the neurological symptoms, cardiac symptoms, lung symptoms, fatigue, etc. like me. He is my age too.

As time goes by, I keep hearing about more and more people like me.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

I have an uncle (my mother's brother) who has terminal, inoperable cancer. He is dying. His doctors gave him only 2-3 months to live. He was at my sister's party. That is probably the last time I'm gonna see him alive. I gave him a royal sendoff though.

Totally by coincidence, I sat next to him at the party. I had excessive gas that night. I was farting and burping my brains out. I ripped out about 15-20 farts, and I cranked out about 15-20 loud burps. My uncle was hysterical laughing. He LOVED it. He really enjoyed it. Two times, he got up and ran away because my farts stunk so bad.

One time, I farted on the waiter (by accident).I didn't even know he was there. I said to my uncle, "I have to fart again." Then I ripped out a tremendous fart. My uncle said to me, "The waiter is right behind you. You just farted right on the waiter." I turn around and there is the waiter standing right behind me. You had to see the look on his face. His eyeballs popped out of his head. He ran away and wouldn't come back anymore. My uncle was hysterical laughing about that for the entire night.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

I had more fun on the way home from the party. My cousin "Joe" took me home. I don't drive because of my illness. Joe just got a brand new car. It is about 2 months old. We were on the way home, and we were just about to pull in my driveway. I blasted out a tremendous fart. The whole car shook. I almost blew the wheels off the car. It stunk like hell. It smelled like I ate road kill. Joe said, "Aggghhh, that couldn't wait one more minute." Joe opened all of the windows to fumigate the car.

Joe also took my father home later that night. My father also blasted out a tremendous fart in Joe's car too. My father and I both christened Joe's new car.

I really had a good time that night. That was the most fun I had in a long time.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

Back to serious subject matter. A few weeks ago, my parents had life insurance representatives over my house to discuss their life insurance policies.

The woman who came had a a familiar story to tell. Her husband also had chronic Lyme Disease (cLD). He died as a result of the cLD aggravating his cardiac problems. He was only 44 years old when he died. I was in bed the whole time (because of my illness), so I didn't personally speak to her. My mother was telling her about me. She said to my mother, "Stop. Don't tell me any more. You are giving me the chills." My case resembled her deceased husband's case. She was getting very upset. She didn't want to hear any more.

As I stated earlier in this thread, I keep hearing about more and more cases like me.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

My mother was in the hospital last week for a hysterectomy operation. She was talking to the woman next to her in the room. This woman also has chronic Lyme Disease. In fact, she got it twice. The first time she got it, she never got the tell-tale rash (like me). The second time she got it, she did get the rash. She suspects that she got it both times in the Pocono mountains of PA.

She has it for about 10 years. She is seriously ill because of it. But she is nowhere near as sick as I am. This is the way Lyme Disease is. It affects everyone differently.

This is just yet another case I have heard about.

Augie

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

I originally posted this thread on another board. This post is similar to a response post I gave on that board.

Lyme Disease is named after the town of Lyme, CT. That is where it was first discovered.

LD is incurable. You use antibiotics to control the symptoms of LD. Unfortunately, when a LD patient takes antibiotics, they experience a Herxheimer reaction. It is like magnifying the severity and intensity of your LD symptoms by tenfold. So, you get worse before you get better. Herxheimer reactions are like going thru f**king hell.

I have taken massive doses (elephant doses) of antibiotics over the course of the past 15 years. I have taken long-term, high-dose antibiotics.

Augie

(okay, I'm done posting for now)

[Augie]

Hi folks,

Did you know that my farts cure cancer?

About 12-18 months ago, my uncle (mentioned above) was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of "Mantle-cell cancer". It was in its advanced stages. At that time, his doctors gave him only a few months to live.

He is still alive, and he is doing fine. His cancer is almost completely gone. There is almost no trace of the cancer left in his body.

I think my farts at my sister's party cured him. When I kept farting that night, I must have blasted the cancer right out of him.

Someone should contact the Pope and inform him of this. Maybe he will make me into a saint. One qualification is that you must perform a miracle.

Augie

[Augie]

Hi folks,

About 2 weeks ago, my cousin had a 50th birthday party at Panarea restaurant here in Staten Island, NY. I went. It was one of the rare occasions that I leave my home.

My "big fat Italian family" was there.

As usual, I was burping and farting my brains out. I cranked out 8 VERY loud burps. The whole building shook. The walls vibrated. I almost blew the roof off the place. They must have heard my burps in Perth Amboy, NJ.

I also ripped out 6 farts. Everyone was hysterical laughing.

Augie ;D

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[Augie]

Hi folks,

I sat next to an old family friend ("Mike"). Mike is a real "country boy". I was talking to Mike and my cousin Joe for almost the entire night. Mike just bought a house in PA. He paid $14,000 for it. That is not a down payment. That is the total selling price of the house. He paid cash. It's a nice house, but it needs a lot of work. It has a coal stove. You must shovel coal into the stove to heat the house. It doesn't even have a hot water heater. It has 60 volt electricity coming into the house. Believe it or not, this is actually "a step up" for Mike. Mike currently lives in VA. His current house doesn't even have running water. It has an "outhouse". Joe used to live in PA.

As you may know, I am planning on living in PA someday. So, Mike, Joe, and I were talking all about PA and houses. It was interesting. It's amazing that you can still buy a house in America today for only $14,000.

Augie