How many farts a day?

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Augie
The Fart Meister

Posts: 491

How many farts a day? May 19, 2006 21:17:36 GMT

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Post by Augie on May 19, 2006 21:17:36 GMT

Hi folks,

How many farts do you rip out each day? I'm looking for an average number.

In a normal, average, typical day, I rip out about 50-100 farts. Split the difference and call it about 75 farts a day. This is an average day for me. If I have excessive gas, I can rip out 200-300 farts a day. I'm being dead serious here. This isn't a joke.

Believe it or not, my father actually farts more than I do. In an average day, he rips out about 100-150 farts. I think it's genetic.

Augie

Have no fear, Fartman is here.
He propels himself through the air by farting.
His farts are more powerful than a speeding locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings with a single gastric blast.
***Fartman to the Rescue!!!***

***Howard Stern Rules!!!***

"I wish I had 2 assholes...so I could fart more." - Howard Stern (my favorite quote)

"I didn't fart. My ass did" - my father's favorite quote

Augie
The Fart Meister

Posts: 491

How many farts a day? Aug 15, 2006 15:09:42 GMT

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Post by Augie on Aug 15, 2006 15:09:42 GMT

Hi folks,

Did you know that there are about 200 different poses you can strike just before you are about to rip out a fart?

I know this because, when I was a kid, I personally witnessed my father strike about 200 different poses just before he was about to rip out a fart.

My father perfected farting to an art form. He glorified it and made a spectacle out of it. He loves to "entertain" people by farting. He REALLY enjoys farting. I have never met anyone in my entire life (with the possible exception of Howard Stern) who enjoys farting more than my father does.

Augie ;D