Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 22:49:44 GMT
Hi folks, Howard had to change his plans for his last day on the radio. His superiors at Infinity wouldn't let him walk to the Sirius building while he was on the air. Howard's staff members were imitating Howard's boss Tom Chiasano by saying, "I hope it snows". Green Day couldn't make it that day either. Howard had the band Staind perform live on a stage outside his studio. Infinity still won't let Howard have his archive tapes. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:00:05 GMT
Hi folks,
Howard's last day on terrestrial radio was fantastic.
Staind and Cheryl Crow performed live. Howard played tapes of when Green Day ("I hope you had the time of your life...") and the Foo Fighters performed live in his studio.
The NYC cops bent over backwards for Howard. They love him. They even gave him a police escort at one point.
Everyone (especially Howard) gave great speeches. Just before he left K-Rock's studio for the last time, one of Howard's last sentences he spoke was, "Let's not let the government win". He's right.
Artie gave a great speech. He said that Howard's fans are like "the island of misfit toys". He hit the nail on the head. If there's one thing that Howard's fans (including myself) all have in common, it's that we are all "misfits". We don't fit in "their" world.
Augie
(continued in next post...)
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:11:30 GMT
Hi folks,
The crowd at Howard's rally was incredible. It was estimated that hundreds of thousands (or millions) of people were there.
"Wendy the Retard" gave a great speech too. Here is a young woman who suffers from severe mental retardation (Down's Syndrome?). And she got up on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people, and she delivered a beautiful speech. She even read a poem that she wrote for Howard. It was very touching. Everyone, including myself and Robin (Howard's partner), was pleasantly surprised. Wendy thanked Howard for accepting her as she is and for giving her a "family". I think that Wendy demonstrated more intelligence and more common sense than Pres. Bush. I think that Wendy "gets it" better than Pres. Bush does.
Gary joked about his teeth. No surprise there.
Augie
(continued in next post...)
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:18:17 GMT
Hi folks,
Howard gave a long speech. But it was excellent. He hit the nail on the head. In it, he blasted the government and the FCC. He said that the religious right in this country is the "American Taliban". He often referred to Sirius' "fist" logo. He said that he wanted to ram that fist up the asses of the religious right. He spoke about "freedom" and "laughter". He also spoke about "Fartman". He said that he and his fans are "the last of a dying breed". He is right. Radio will never be the same.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:24:09 GMT
Hi folks,
I was listening to Howard a few days ago. He played a tape of "Jackie the Joke Man". Here is the joke:
A Polish guy jumps out of an airplane . He has a parachute, but he doesn't know how to use it. He keeps falling, and he is getting nervous. As he is going down, he passes a black guy going up. They pass in mid-air. As they are passing, the Polish guy yells to the black guy, "Hey, do you know how to open a parachute?". The black guy yells back, "No. Do you know how to light a gas stove?".
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:26:32 GMT
Hi folks,
Howard was supposed to be on "Saturday Night Live" on 12/10 or 12/17. But he had to change his plans because he had a bad cold. He didn't feel good. He postponed his SNL appearance until Jan./Feb. 2006.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 20, 2005 23:29:31 GMT
Hi folks, Howard has a new show on Sirius called "Crack Whore View". It is a spoof of the show "The View". The hosts of this show are whores who use crack cocaine. I listened to it once. They cursed and said the word "f**k" many, many times. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 20:32:18 GMT
Hi folks,
Earlier in this thread, I mentioned Howard discussing Lenny Bruce. In case you don't know, there is a song by REM ("It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine..."). In this song, there is a line that goes: "Lenny Bruce is not afraid".
Just a reminder.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 20:42:22 GMT
Hi folks, Howard's last day on terrestrial radio reminded me of numerous funny things that Howard has done over the years. Here are some of them: I remember when Howard got into a fight with Bon Jovi. Howard discovered them. If it wasn't for Howard, they would still be a garage band. One of Dee Snyder's female fans even sodomized John in the back of a limo one day. Bon Jovi was away from the NYC area for a long time. They came back. They did every radio show except Howard's. He got pissed. He called John over the air. John claimed that Polygram told them not to do Howard's show. Howard said, "What???!!!". Then Howard called John a "f**king Pussy" over the air. For several months, Howard was making fun of John by saying, "Polygram told me not to" in a wimpy voice. It was hilarous. But Howard and Bon Jovi made up over the air at Howard's 40th birthday party. Bon Jovi even performed live at the party. Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 20:46:17 GMT
Hi folks,
I remember about 15 years ago when Howard had a song parody contest. The guy who won it sang his song over the air. It was called: "Savory Trouser Trout". It was hilarious.
In it, the guy sings, "Would you like to dine out on my savory trouser trout?" and "My big white tool in your little black box..." (to Robin).
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 20:55:24 GMT
Hi folks,
I remember Howard talking to a despondant woman who suffered from a bi-polar disorder. She was suicidal. Howard said to her, "I don't want you to jump out of a window and land on my head." He was joking with her. He kept saying to her, "I don't want you to go landing on my head now". It was funny.
I remember several years ago when a despondant and suicidal man called Howard over the air from one of the bridges in NYC. He was just about to jump off and commit suicide. Howard talked him out of it and saved his life. This guy said that Howard was the only bright spot of his life. He looked forward to listening to Howard every day. Howard put a smile on his face every day.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 21:01:02 GMT
Hi folks,
I remember when a David Letterman impersonator ("Evil Dave") was on Howard's show. This guy called some woman who had just written a book on rape. He pretended to be David Letterman. He said to her, "If I use my penis as a thermometer and stick it up my son's ass to take his temperature, is that considered child abuse?". The woman was in shock. She didn't know what to say. She thought it was really David Letterman. She just hung up the phone.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 21:04:58 GMT
Hi folks,
I remember when Howard interviewed this guy who used to be in the mafia. He said that he used to kill people by sticking a sharp metal object into the backs of their heads. He and Howard were joking about it. Howard said that he was "installing an antenna in their heads". Howard joked that he was afraid to have this guy sit behind him.
Augie
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 21:08:47 GMT
Hi folks,
I remember about 15-20 years ago when Richard Belzer was on Howard's show. Richard sat next to what he thought was a woman. When Howard revealed that this "woman" was actually a transsexual, Richard got up and ran out of the studio. Howard kept yelling, "Come back here Rich". It was hilarious.
Augie ;D
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Augie
The Fart Meister
Posts: 491
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Post by Augie on Dec 22, 2005 21:13:47 GMT
Hi folks, I remember when Howard used to do his "Blozo the Clown" skits. By the way, "Blozo" is Bozo's gay cousin. I remember when Howard did his "Gay Robocop" skits. It was hilarious. I remember when Howard did a spoof of the movie "Lean on Me". Howard called his version "Lean on Meat". It was a movie about a guy who was the principal of a high school full of homosexual students. The principal walks around the school trying to prevent the gay students from engaging in homosexual sex acts. It was hilarious. Augie
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